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  • Dennis Collins

Stop worrying about her vibrator!!!!

Why bringing up her vibrator use can further problems with your sex life AND why her using it is A GOOD THING!



I was involved in 3 conversations with men regarding their wife’s vibrator use this week! THREE!!!! In a week.

Typically, I have this conversation about half a dozen times a year.


What most men don’t realize is that her use of the vibrator:


*Has absolutely nothing to do with you.


*It’s not cheating – yes, some men think this.


*The size of the vibrator or dildo is not a reflection of you or a sign of inadequacy.


*Is a good thing.


What most men do not realize is that masturbating with a vibrator is not at all like sex with the man you love.


For a woman to masturbate requires one thing, a door that locks and 5 minutes. None of the 95 reasons she does not feel up to having sex come into play. She can be exhausted and a quick orgasm from her vibrator may be just what she needs to go right off to sleep.


Men often feel threatened by a woman’s vibrator use because they assume it replaces their penis.


This is simply not true.



Some common misconceptions are:


*Vibrators ruin women for sex without them.

*If women need vibrators to have orgasms, there’s something wrong with them.

*Vibrators can be addictive.

*They will prevent her from being able to orgasm naturally.

*I’m too old to have vibrators.


None of the above is true.


Here are some facts about vibrators and women.


· 78% of women own vibrators.


· Approximately 81-85% of women cannot orgasm from penetration alone.


· Married women are twice as likely to use a vibrator.


· Vibrators don’t just vibrate anymore.


· Vibrators are not just for alone time.


Hell, I have over a half dozen vibrators in my house, including the Hitachi Magic Wand, the greatest vibrator ever made!


It is very common for couples to incorporate vibrators and other toys into their play. It is a critical part of variety in the bedroom.


Over the last few years, I have regularly talked to men who spend way too much mental energy on their wife's vibrator usage. It doesn't serve you, and if you bring it up to your wife - it will create more distance and hurt, not help your intimacy issues.


Why her using a vibrator – even without you, is a good thing!


Yes, you read that right. Often when a woman checks out of a relationship mentally she shuts does this part of her, her sexuality. She goes fully into mom mode. She will be mom, roommate, and partner, but she shuts down the part of her that is the beautiful sexual being and lover she once was.


Remember we are all sexual creatures.


When this happens, commonly, she will even stop masturbating. The fact that she is still using her vibrator is a sign that this important part of her has not died off, or been shut down.


Look at her vibrator usage like the embers of a fire that is almost out. It can still be rekindled into a fire that burns red hot again.


Do you want to rebuild that fire?


The funny part is to rebuild this fire it does not start with her, it starts with you. Being a calm, grounded masculine man who leads in the relationship. A man who stops trying to get sex.


Becoming a man who focuses on intimacy and connection with the woman he loves. Fixing this is possible, but it begins with you.


The odds are you are a really good guy. But the odds are that you were never properly taught about sex, intimacy, and how to build and maintain loving passionate relationships. If you are like most men you have nobody else you can talk to about this.


If you would like to change this reach out at denniscollins@manoflegacy.org for a personal conversation. Plan on this taking an hour as this is about you leveling up and changing your mindset, not a quick fix tip. Trust me you will be glad you did.


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