- Dennis Collins
Is Bon Jovi a better men's coach than Steve Horsmon?
“Shot through the heart”
“And you're to blame”
“You give love a bad name”
I cannot tell a lie when this Bon Jovi song came on, I cranked it up and sang along, loudly.
Today after rocking along it made me think, did she give love a bad name? Was Bon Jovi a secret men’s coach warning us? Should Steve Horsmon start to worry?
For some women the answer that question is an absolute yes they do give love a bad name.
However, for most of us we both bear responsibility in getting to the point where there's disconnection in the relationship when one partner tells the other “I love you but I'm not in LOVE with you” or “I want a divorce.”
Needless to say this thinking didn't help endear me to a song that I happen to love. The reality is as men we haven't been taught how to be great man, a great husband, and a great father. So what do you do then.
Steve Horsmon knows that “excessive focus on saving your marriage coubd be the cause of our divorce” It can often lead to desperate, clinging, hummingbird behavior and can drive your wife further away.
Often, our dads were struggling with the same issues we struggle with. It’s hard to be good and something if you have never been taught what to do.
“An angel's smile is what you sell”
“You promise me heaven, then put me through hell” -Shit tests!
“Chains of love got a hold on me” -I have tied my whole worth to you and my identity as husband
“When passion's a prison, you can't break free” -It can be when you have lost yourself.
But if you have lost yourself then you can also find yourself. Hummingbirds can become confident, calm, masculine men, but it takes work.
“Whoa, you're a loaded gun”
“Whoa, there's nowhere to run”
“No one can save me”
“The damage is done”
I have great news though. The damage can be undone. If you are reading this, I am here to tell you who YOUR savior is. It is the same man, who feels adrift, lost, and the one you see in your mirror each morning. YOU can save yourself.
Can you save your marriage? I don’t know the answer to that question. I do know that the men who do the work, realize they played a role and need to improve themselves end up breaking free of the prison they feel they have been put in by their wife or girlfriend. I can personally tell you that life on the other side is amazing.
While Bon Jovi has better hair, I do think once we analyze everything we would find that Steve Horsmon is the better men’s coach.
And because it is an awesome song……..the link to the YouTube video is below.