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  • Dennis Collins

"I'll try anything once, probably even twice" she said

She smiled as we were discussing blindfolds, following directions a the playful world of BDSM. You could see she had an thought dancing in her mind. She was newly divorced; I was the first guy she dated.


We had been dating and intimate for a few weeks.


Yes many women enjoy this type of activity as do many men. There's a reason 50 Shades of Grey sold the tens of millions of copies that it did.


Something many people seem to forget sex besides being wonderful, sex is supposed to be fun! You need to be able to laugh when things don't go as planned and enjoy the time with your erotic partner or loved one.


How does one go about bringing up that you are into kinky sexy fun?


Well you can thank 50 Shades of Grey for making it something that was brought more mainstream. A few things you can do is slip in some light spanking or dirty talk during your play. Pay attention to the response and do not overdo it.


Some of you would be shocked that one survey showed that 95% of the women said they enjoyed being spanked in bed. I am not. My last 5 partners all enjoyed it.


Often if you want to play with blindfolds spankings and bondage the key lies within you. Trust, your attitude, and the energy you bring to the situation will impact the answer you get from your partner.


You don't start talking about bondage and tying a woman up at your first coffee date!


Well not usually. 😈 I would consider that a red flag. But when dating I am very open and forthright that I am not the typical boring guy when it comes to the bedroom.

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The other component to all of this is confidence. You don't kind of, sorta wanna, if it's okay with you can I blindfold you, as a way you're discussing it. Nobody wants to be blindfolded by that guy!


You paint a picture of how erotic it would be and how hot she would look. “Babe seeing you blindfolded would be so sexy.” When she is being fun and teasing toss out “careful babe or I may just put you over my knee and give you a spanking.” See how she responds. A good time for this talk is after a good sexy romp. You are both in th, good endorphin released state, so open discussion is easier.


The woman who said she try anything once smiled at the thought of entering my house, locking the door, stripping naked and walking down the steps, putting on the blindfold that was waiting for her without a moment's hesitation and then to kneel on the pillow as she was instructed.


That was exactly what she did the next Friday night.


Trust had already been established and I don't lack confidence. If you are a happy single or divorced man playful and confident and this area intrigues you, there is no reason not to explore it.


My freak meter is fairly accurate and I have often been on a coffee date and known within the first three to five minutes if we were compatible based on a joke, or a little innuendo. The smile received tells me I have somebody who is receptive to my playful adult nature.


I am more bold than a lot of guys, but that is me. If you are not like that you may need to bring it up in conversation. Some of you are thinking how do you just bring that up in conversation? When you see some out somewhere in full leather clothing, a joke about BDSM or 50 Shades might give you an indication to their inclination.


If you use dating apps a comment about being open minded or adventurous will almost always bring discuss from like-minded people.


Remember confidence is the key. You have to know what you want and be willing to share that with your partner. Remember this is journey to be enjoyed by both, not a sprint.

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