What can you learn from watching “How to Build a Sex Room”

Aug 14, 2022

After getting 3 or 4 emails and texts about the show with guys telling me that it made them think of me, I decided it was time to check out the show.

I watched the Netflix series “How To Build a Sex Room” with my girlfriend Melanie and my buddy and fellow men’s coach Charlie.

While many of the HGTV crowd might like watching the spicy room transformations, however, the three of us picked up on the relationship issues related to the couples.

Some trends that were very clear with the couples in the show:

*Those with kids lacked boundaries related to their kids.

*They failed to make their bedroom a place just for them.

*Intimacy was not made a priority in the relationship.

Even though there was at least one in each couple that wanted a sex room it was clear that talking about intimacy and sex was a challenge even for some of the couples.

This is not surprising when you factor in that most people cannot even talk about sex, it just further complicates sex and intimacy issues in a relationship.

With one couple the wife must have said a half dozen times “thank you, this is going to save my marriage” – sadly it is not. If I was able to make a wager, it would sadly be that they will be divorced in the next few years unless significant changes are made.


Her husband acted more like a child. He failed to lead in every way possible. Their bedroom not only broke the “no television” in the bedroom rule, but they had two! This was because he was a gamer and needed a TV just for his gaming console. He chose to play a video game over playing with his wife. There is nothing wrong with being a gamer……….as long as it is not more important than your relationship.

She was dying for masculine leadership. He acted like a clueless 14-year-old. The kids were playing in the bedroom -which was a total mess with dirty clothes everywhere. If he starts to lead and they create boundaries with the kids, this can be turned around.

While I cannot be certain it did appear that regular date nights did not occur with the couples that had children.

As you know this is the kiss of death when it comes to intimacy………………..and long-term relationships.

So let’s talk about some basic rules for the bedroom that can help a woman relax into her femininity and will help make it a space for the two of you to connect and make it your intimate space.

Rules for the bedroom:

*Absolutely no televisions in the bedroom.

*No smartphones in the bedroom.

*No food in the bedroom (except chocolate-covered strawberries on date night)

*Kids do not get free run of it – it is your private space.

Your bedroom should be an inviting space, something you look forward to going into. There should only be three things that happen in your bedroom, sleeping, changing clothes, and having hot sex!

I have candles on both nightstands as they make for a more romantic mood. There is even a painting that is both beautiful and erotic with a naked couple embracing hidden in the design. Nothing but sleep, changing clothes, and intimacy/sex occur in our bedroom.

So why not watch “How to Build A Sex Room” with your wife or girlfriend, it just might spur discussion that might lead to some insights and fun.

If this article jolted your thinking...or made you feel uncomfortable, a feeling that “I could never ask her to watch that show” then maybe that is an indication you need to reevaluate your bedroom situation and a renovation might be needed.

My mission is to help men improve themselves and their relationships. This includes the relationship you have with yourself to be the authentic calm masculine man who leads himself and his relationships including the romance department.

First things first. Let's get you moving in the right direction for now.

Email me now at [email protected] to schedule your conversation. Plan for at least ONE HOUR. I guarantee you will happy you did.

If you do want to talk about coaching programs, groups, and courses, that may take another call.

This might spark a bedroom makeover, who knows maybe you will end up with a sex room too.

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