Sexless Marriage Issues

Jan 31, 2023

A sexless marriage is defined as a marital union in which little or no sexual activity occurs between the two spouses. This lack of physical intimacy can lead to a variety of problems, both emotionally and physically. Definition is sex less than 10 times a year. This effects between 15%+ of all couples.

Emotionally, a sexless marriage can lead to feelings of rejection and inadequacy for both partners. When one partner is not interested in having sex, it can make the other partner feel unwanted and unattractive. This can lead to feelings of depression, low self-esteem, and even resentment towards the partner who is not interested in sex. 

Physically, a lack of sexual activity can lead to a decrease in the levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is associated with feelings of love and bonding. This can cause the couple to feel emotionally distant from each other, leading to problems in communication and intimacy.

Additionally, sexless marriages can also lead to infidelity. When one partner is not satisfied with the lack of sexual activity in the marriage, they may seek it outside of the marriage. This can cause serious trust issues and damage to the relationship. I would caution you to taking this step until you worked on yourself and start leading again in connection and intimacy within the relationship. I have seen men I have worked with, and others in the community turn around sexless marriages of 1 year to even those over 20 years.

There are a variety of reasons why a sexless marriage may occur. In some cases, it may be due to a lack of physical attraction or a mismatch in sexual desires. In other cases, it may be due to physical or mental health issues, such as erectile dysfunction or depression. Excessive porn usage can also be a problem.

Many believe that sexless marriages do not necessarily indicate an unhappy marriage or a lack of love. Personally, I disagree, a sexless marriage is often a symptom of far greater problems and it often rooted in dissatisfaction and a lack of emotional and physical intimacy, or other relationship issues all of which can negatively impact the relationship.

It is also important to seek help if you are in a sexless marriage, either by seeking therapy or counseling, or by seeking medical help for any underlying physical or mental health issues. This is why we tell me to do the work on themselves so that they can in fact turn it around. I have seen marriages that were teetering on the edge of the abyss get turned around when a man works on and starts leading himself, then she joins him.

If you are in this situation and are feeling lost email me at [email protected]. I am also present daily in a kickass online men’s community with over 20 group coaching sessions a month. 


"Sexless Marriage: What It Is and Why It Happens" (WebMD)

"The Impact of a Sexless Marriage on a Spouse" (Psychology Today)

"Why Sexless Marriages Happen and How to Deal With Them" (HuffPost)

"The Effects of a Sexless Marriage on Mental Health" (Healthline)

"How to Cope With a Sexless Marriage" (Verywell Mind)

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